Stupid (Foxxy McFoxFox)

[Tori Ashwood]

Love has made me a fool,
Set me on fire and watched as I floundered,
Unable to speak;
Except to cry out and wait for your answer.

After making sure Snake was safe and sound at the hospital, and double checking that his bill would be completely taken care of before he ever saw it, Tori had said goodbye to her injured friend to walk her other home. Casting only one quick, fleeting glance over to Fox, the young woman had wrapped her arms around herself before leaving the hospital, heading to the home they shared.

The entire walk home, Tori said not a word. Normally, she would have started idle conversation, or just bumped against her dearest friend until he finally (lightly) pushed back. She wasn't one for silence, especially when walking through dark streets, but tonight was a special case.

Tonight, she just felt broken.

She had never expected for either of her guys to meet the other, not like that, anyways. She knew that Fox normally avoided police as a rule, but Snake, well... He did his job, and his job involved busting those that were breaking the law. And, even though she didn't know exactly what had caused the fight, she knew it had something to do with a previous meeting. (Snake had already told her that they had met once before, and so Tori was betting on that.)

Because of her tardiness, Snake and Fox had gotten into it. Because of her careless tongue, they both now knew how she truly felt about them. Because of that... Tori knew she had broken Snake's heart, even if she had no idea what was going on in Fox's.

Snake hadn't deserved that; he was a good man who really, truly cared for her. And Tori loved him; really, she did. But when he had left those two years ago, he had ripped a hole in her heart. Fox seemed to fit perfectly in that empty space, even if he had had no idea about her feelings. He and Krystal and the children had mended her heart; he had become her heart.

Stopping at the door, she reached into her bag, searching for the keys. Her trembling hands made it difficult to grab, and then insert the key into the door, but eventually she got it unlocked. When she opened it, Tori was relieved to see that Falco had gotten her message to keep the children for just a little bit longer. They didn't desire to see their father like that.

"Sit down," she murmured, motioning towards the couch as she threw her bag onto a nearby chair and hung her coat on the hanger. Tori shut and locked the door behind them; every action was mechnical, rehersed and performed to the best of her ability.

"I'm gunna... go get the first aid kit. And some painkillers. You'll... you'll need them, I'm thinking." Her voice was barely above a whisper, despite their being the only people there. "And maybe something to drink. ...Yeah, I'm gunna get you some water, too."

She started towards the kitchen.

[Fox McCloud]

Memories, sharp as daggers, pierce into the flesh of today.
The suicide of love took away all that matters,
And buried the remains in an unmarked grave in your heart.
With the venomous kiss you gave me, I'm killing loneliness.
With the warmth of your arms, you saved me; oh, I'm killing loneliness with you.
I'm killing loneliness that turned my heart into a tomb...
Nailed to the cross, together, as solitude begs us to stay
Disappear in the night, forever, and denounce the power of death over our souls
And secret words are sent to start a war...

Fox followed behind Tori, ever watchful of their surroundings as he always was when they walked together. The difference was, this time he was completely silent. Usually he joked with her, talked about... nothing in particular. Made whatever noise he could. Anything to keep her from being afraid, to keep her feeling safe. But tonight, he just couldn't bring himself to utter a word.

The odd thing was... he wasn't mad with her. Or even with Snake. He was just contemplative of what was going to happen next. Obviously, Tori couldn't have both of them, and... he knew if she chose Snake he'd be somewhat broken. If that did happen, however, he wouldn't show her this. Fox just wanted Tori to be with whoever was right for her.

If that was Snake, so be it.

As soon as they got inside the house, Fox was quick to close the door, locking all four locks behind them. He was still paranoid from Krystal's death, and he knew Tori was fearful from her own encounter with the Cannibal. He didn't want to give her any more reason to fear, anything else to upset her. The anthro didn't think he could forgive himself any more if he did.

"Sit down. I'm gunna... go get the first aid kit. And some painkillers. . . . I'm gunna get you some water, too."

He stared after her with an odd sort of sadness in his eyes, swallowing as both ears pinned back. He was close, very close, to obeying her, to just sitting down on the couch and keeping his thoughtful silence. But a part of him just wouldn't let him do that. Slowly, hesitantly, Fox walked over to her, gently touching the tips of his fingers to her arm, as delicately as he could. He didn't want to startle her.

"Tori..." he murmured, the word barely making it past his lips.

[Tori Ashwood]

Tori paused her trek the moment she heard his footsteps following her. Raising her chin, so she was looking up at the wall, she tried to stand as tall and as straight as was possible; she didn't want him to see any of the pain or fear that was resounding in her heart at that exact moment.

Still, when his fingers touched her arm, she felt her breath hitch in her lungs. For what reason, she just couldn't explain. Actually, she could, but Tori honestly doubted that Fox would like to hear another word about the true emotions going through her heart at that moment. He had already heard too much as it was.

"Tori..."

Tori's eyes fluttered shut as her name escaped his lips. She didn't say a word for a long moment; didn't even breathe. But then she took in a deep breath, let her eyes open again, and looked up at him. Her eyes, a pale green for reasons even Tori didn't care to understand, scanned his face for any signs, any hints as to what he was thinking.

Fighting back tears and the burn in her throat, Tori managed to rasp out, "I'm sorry," before slapping a hand over her mouth.

Every instinct in her body was screaming for her to run, to get the hell up out of there. Fox knew too much now; he knew how much she cared about him. He knew that she loved him. And love was a powerful weapon; Tori had seen what its might could do to those who weren't prepared when it twisted on them. Her mother had been her prime example.

And yet Tori couldn't run. She couldn't turn tail and dart. Not just because she knew that Fox was much, much faster than her, but because... She knew that he would never lay a hand on her. Even if experience told her otherwise, Tori knew this was one guy who would never deal out that sort of batrayal.

"I'm sorry," she whispered again.

[Fox McCloud]

"No apologizing."

Fox tried his hardest not to make his voice sound like a whimper, and for the most part succeeded. Yes, there was still the odd bit of pain in there, but other then that he was level, calm. All he could ever afford to be, but all he could almost never be.

He was quiet, then, still trying to figure out how to break his own little news to her. Even if the feelings were returned, how would she react? If anything, maybe he was even more unwanted now more then ever. It would just make things more complicated for her and he... he didn't want that.

Still...

Slowly, hesitantly, he pulled her into a hug, his tail wrapping around her like it had that night when they had met the Cannibal. The anthro rested his chin on top of her head, finally letting out the whine he had been holding back practically all night.

"Tori, I..." Fox swallowed. "Fox is loving you, too."

[Tori Ashwood]

To her surprise, Fox moved to drawn her into a hug. Tori gave no resistance, no indication of disapproval, as his arms wound around her. If anything, she relaxed the moment his warmth surrounded her. Again, Tori closed her eyes, though this time it was because she felt safe, protected.

Her own arms moved to wrap tightly around Fox's waist, wrist crossing at the shoulderblades. She buried her face into his chest, shoulders trembling with smothered sobs. Tori knew better than to cry or whimper aloud, but it was getting very difficult to contain all of her emotions. Especially considering she was sure those were tears rolling down her cheeks.

". . . Fox is loving you, too."

She tensed in his grip, pulling back just enough that she could look at his face. Her eyes scanned his face, doing just as they had been doing a moment ago. But instead of looking for any hints, they were now searching for doubt, or uncertainty. But Fox seemed to know exactly what he was saying, and that...

That made her heart lift, if only a little.

Her arms moved from his back, hands running from shoulderblades to chest. She took a fistful of shirt in each, gripping onto him as if her very life depended on that moment, that one second in time.

"I love you, so much," she managed out, looking up at him. Her gaze was soft, open - vulnerable. "I don't think you realize how much you mean to me, Fox." One hand released his shirt, to touch the side of his face. She sniffled quietly, trying to stop the tears and the ache.

"I just didn't want you to find out this way. Or at all. I... I don't want to destroy what it's taken you years to build."

[Fox McCloud]

Fox moved one arm so he could cup her cheek in his hand, the other remaining wrapped around her, holding her to him. Both ears were relaxed now, and he was as calm as he had probably ever been around her. Slowly, he lowered his head the couple of inches he needed so he could rest his forehead on hers.

Normally, he respected her personal space, knowing how skittish she was about being touched. But right then... right then, he needed her near him. Even if she wasn't his, probably never would be his, he just needed to feel like she was, if only for a minute.

"You are doing so much for me," he murmured, taking in a deep breath. He didn't even know what he was trying to say; at this point, he was mostly just rambling. "Helping me... and the children. And they are adoring you. Wouldn't be surprised if they are seeing you as second mother." A sad smile curved on his lips. "If it was ever being possible to repay you in full, know Fox would be stopping at nothing to do so.

"But... Tori, I am wanting you to be happy. Fox cannot stand to see you hurting like this." His ears pinned back, his eyes becoming sad; but he wasn't broken. He had already decided this in his own mind. "If you are choosing him... If you are choosing him, Fox will step away. Fox will not be making it any harder then it needs to be."

[Tori Ashwood]

There were no words to describe how she was feeling at the moment.

His hand rested against her cheek, and Tori couldn't help but lean into his touch, a quiet noise coming from her throat. Even when he pulled her closer, touched his forehead to hers, Tori could find no sense of fear or panic surging. She loved him; she trusted him, with all she had. There was not even the slightest suspicion that he would harm her.

When he started to speak, Tori steeled herself for...whatever was coming. She didn't know what to expect at this point, so she prepared herself for the worst. But instead of cutting down or begging, his words had her looking up; her spirits lifting - even if the weight on her shoulders only got heavier.

"I told you; I love those kids," she murmured, her eyes roaming over his face. "I love you, and I love Marissa, and I love Jeremy. They're... You guys are like my family; I would do anything for you."

And it was true. Considering the family - and Tori used that word very lightly - she had come from, it was no surprise that she felt as thought she had to do everything for those she loved. She didn't want to lose him, or them, because she wasn't good enough, or because she wasn't able to help. It was a fear of hers.

She felt an odd sort of ache throb in her chest at Fox's next words. She closed her eyes, just leaning into his touch for a brief moment as she thought. Her heart wanted both of them, but she knew, in her mind, that she couldn't do that. It wouldn't be fair to either of them. Best to let one of them know, now, that she just... couldn't do it.

"Don't step away, please," she begged, moving her arms so she could hold him closer, tighter. "Please, don't.... Don't leave. I love you. I want you here, with me." Now Tori looked up at him, her eyes meeting his. She swallowed hard, eyes wide and pleading, "You've never hurt me, once. You've been there for me; you've... Please."

[Fox McCloud]

Fox didn't know what to say.

A part of him wanted to reassure her, to comfort her. He wanted to say he'd never leave her, that he would fight for her if he had to. He wanted her, needed her, and now he could have her if he so chose. And, if it had been his choice, that was what he would have chose.

But it wasn't his choice.

It was hers.

The anthro ran his thumb over her cheekbone, shifting his head so he could rest his cheek on top of her hair, closing his eyes. The other part of him was telling him what he already knew: she couldn't have both of them, and it wasn't fair to her if he pushed her to go the way he wanted her to. Tori was damaged; he could tell that much. He could tell by the way she acted sometimes, the odd hints of fear he could smell on her, that she had gone through... something before she had met him, even if she never talked about it. He didn't want to make anything worse then it already was.

"Tori..." he whispered, just to say her name, just to say anything at all. His ears pinned back in the grief and confusion he was feeling.

[Tori Ashwood]

"Tori..."

Her name sliced through the silence; her arms tightened their unforgiving grip around Fox's middle. She didn't know what to say, what to do. This was all just too much for her. She hadn't expected for Snake to come back, or for Krystal to die, or for her own feelings for both to finally grow into something more than just admiration or respect.

She closed her eyes tightly, in a futile effort to cut off the flow of tears. Tori had never been one to cry in front of others, not since she was a little girl, and yet she just couldn't stop. Her hands grabbed fistfuls of his shirt again; she pressed her face into his shoulder.

"You don't understand how much I need you here, with me," she whimpered. "I need you, Fox. I need you and the kids. I can't... I can't be alone. I can't handle it. Please, don't leave."

By now, Tori had realized how much she was giving him. She had admitted that she loved him; she had admitted how much she needed him. Despite how guarded she was, despite her stand on never letting someone hold this much power over her... It had happened. And he now knew.

And it scared her to death.

Especially considering she was scrambling to hold onto him. She couldn't lose him; she couldn't let him leave her. If he or the children ever just turned their back on her... Tori honestly doubted she would be able to make it.

She loved Snake; she wanted to be able to belong to him, but Fox... Fox had healed her heart without realizing it. He and his children had become her family. Tori had no defense against that. She really didn't want to fight against it.

[Fox McCloud]

Fox pulled back just enough to look at her, torn between just what he should say to her. It felt like whatever he said would just make something worse in some way, but... he knew silence would be the worst choice of all. After a moment of searching her face for any hints, any clues at all, he opened his mouth.

"Fox will not be leaving you," he murmured, a sad smile curving on the edges of his lips. His tail, which had returned to him a moment or so before, curled around her once again, and he gently planted a kiss on her forehead. "Would not hurt you like that, Tori. Besides... Fox is needing you, too. And so are children."

The pain in his head and back and sides flared up again, just then, sorely reminding him of why he had come home early from his "shift". The emotions had taken his mind off of them, making it as if they had never existed, but now that that was mostly resolved... Grimly, the anthro grinned, and he pressed his forehead to hers briefly as a sign of affection.

"Thinking I am going to need that First-Aid now," he murmured softly, chuckling. "Before Falco is deciding to call on Scouter and chew me out."

[Tori Ashwood]

His lips touched her forehead, and Tori's eyes closed. A small smile formed on her lips, and she felt warmth blossom in her chest. Despite all that had happened, Tori knew that Fox cared for her; she knew that he wasn't going to just up and leave her, like those in her past had. It was enough to warm her heart.

She reached up, taking his face in her hands, and pressed her forehead against his when he did. "I love you," she said quietly, tilting her head up so she could touch his lips to the tip of his nose. "And I promise, I'm not going to leave you or the children. I love you guys too much, and God knows I could never leave."

Pulling back, Tori wrapped her arm around Fox's waist, encouraging him to lean on her. She knew he wasn't injured that badly, but it was sort of a comfort thing for her; if he leaned on her, then she knew that he would be okay.

She guided him into the kitchen, allowing him to sit at the kitchen table, and moved to grab down the first aid kit, the painkillers, and a glass of water. There was a lighter bounce to her step; it wasn't nearly as carefree or as happy as normal, but it certainly wasn't the slow, dragging walk of a defeated woman. Not anymore.

Tori placed the glass and pills down beside him, then dragged a chair over so she could sit beside him. Reaching up, she brushed his white strip of headfur out of his face.

"Tell me where-... I mean, I wasn't there, so I don't..." She bit her lip, looking uncertain again.

[Fox McCloud]

Fox closed his eyes when she kissed his nose, ears once again relaxing as he did. Maybe tonight... wasn't quite so bad as it had at first seemed.

"Loving you, too."

As she led him into the kitchen, he leaned on (though "leaned" could be taken lightly; he barely put any weight into it, discounting the fact that he didn't weigh much to begin with) her like she wanted, if just to please her-- and maybe himself, as well. The anthro wrapped his arm across her shoulders, tail swishing back and forth.

He pulled a chair out at the table, gingerly sitting on the edge of it, not wanting his back to touch anything. Probably stupid, but he was going out of his way to avoid any more hurting. He watched, half-amused and half-interested, as Tori gathered things then sat down beside him, simply glad she didn't seem so... broken, any more.

"Tell me where-... I mean, I wasn't there, so I don't..."

Fox frowned ever-so-slightly, but nodded. "Back of head, sides-- I am thinking ribs got hurt-- and back," he said, simply, not going into the details in case they were unneeded and unwanted. If she needed to know anything else, he would tell her when she asked.

[Tori Ashwood]

She noticed the way he leaned away from the back of the chair, and made a mental note. Odds were he was bruised up pretty bad, but he wasn't acting as if anything was broken. With any luck, there wouldn't be any broken bones. If something was broken, then Tori knew she would have to call Catriona. Only the mystic could heal bones better than a doctor.

Tori stood, moving so she could stand behind him, and gently took his coat in her hands. "I'm gunna have to take this off of you so I can look and see what all's wrong," she told him, lowering her head so it was near his ear. "Don't worry; I know what I'm doing." She gave him another smile, then began to peel his coat back.

Luckily, the trench was, like all coats of that variaty, rather loose. She managed to get it off of him without causing him arms to move too much, and draped it over her chair. Once that was done, she knelt, so she could look at his back.

"God, I feel like I'm trying to molest you," Tori chuckled weakly as she rolled his shirt up just enough to allow her to see his back. She winced. "Yeah, you're bruises up pretty bad back here. Scratched up a bit, too, but I think that's from hitting the concrete. Oh, you poor thing..."

Reaching over, she grabbed the first aid kit from the table, placing it beside her. After rummaging for a minute, Tori found the alcohol and a cloth, and poured a good dose on there.

"Deep breath," she breathed, before pressing the cloth against the scratches.

[Fox McCloud]

Fox nodded silently, allowing her to take off his coat without so much as a hit of protest. It felt... odd, not wearing it, but he didn't make any indication that this was the case. He just let her do what she was supposed to do; he knew the coat would get in the way, anyway.

"God, I feel like I'm trying to molest you. . . ."

The anthro chuckled as well, shaking his head slightly. "Eh... am not complaining," he said jokingly, his eyes glinting though she could not see it.

Beneath the shirt, Fox was even more skinny then he appeared with the (slightly baggy) shirt and coat on. He was no skeleton, but... well, he certainly wasn't at "average" weight and girth, and his ribs did show. His little muscle mass covered this, but that was all on his front-- the part Tori wasn't looking at.

"Deep breath."

Though the anthro knew exactly what was coming (the smell of rubbing alcohol was hard to mistake, even for a regular, human nose), he couldn't help but wince when the cloth touched his back. It was all her could do not to pull away, but he somehow managed it. He knew this was for his own good.

"Was forgetting what that felt like," he murmured, ear flicking. "We were just having bandages at old home."

[Tori Ashwood]

Tori winced sympathetically, waiting until she was sure the wounds had absorbed enough of the alcohol to pull the cloth away. She then placed the cloth down, next to her, so she would have to for later, and this time actually looked at Fox's back. her eyes softened, and she ran her fingers down his back.

"Man, Fox, I thought you were living here, not just sleeping here. Learn to eat, buddy." She glanced up at him, or rather at the back of his head, and then shook her own. "Now I've got to make sure you eat from here on out."

She had noticed the bit of...pudge that Wolf had and, combining that with the baggy clothes Fox and Falco wore, had figured that they were all right. But apparently Wolf was the only one who really ate. Which begged a very important question....

"If you're this skinny, then why is Wolf pudgy?" She asked, lifting the bandages out of the kit. She then leaned forwards, so she could begin wrapping them around his upperchest, where his chest/ribs were.